editorial photograph, a black cat in dull steel chainmail on a seamless saturated red field (CRITICAL: high chroma, wall meets floor, hard shadow), photoreal fur, deadpan, huge negative space, 35mm grain. Joke is the subject. No wink. Avoid: chibi, sparkle-eye, AI anime smoothness, cartoon shading, plastic skin, HDR, over-sharpening, symmetrical stock-photo smile, direct-to-lens grin, catalogue sit-and-pose, teal-and-orange default grade, Leonardo purple, cluttered background, multiple competing subjects, real brand logos, real film/character IP, celebrity likeness, watermark, CGI render look, extra fingers, warped limbs, melting objects, impossible grips, hands fused to props, head amputated inside the frame, toilets, bathrooms, full single-colour face paint, open-mouth snarl, stained teeth, icky dental close-up, blood, gore, wounds, viscera, cohort words, trendy, viral.